How childhood trauma changes relationships? Traumatic events cause children to feel helpless and scared in a way that is far beyond their mental and emotional processing. These situations can occur in one-off events like natural disasters and injuries — or they could occur from regular instances of physical, sexual and verbal abuse. All these events can bring on symptoms of emotional and psychological trauma, and all of these events can haunt children well into their adult lives. There are a number of different childhood experiences that can take a long term toll on our health and sense of self as adults. While physical and sexual abuse most certainly make the list, adult-struggles are not limited to these experiences alone. The mental and physical health of our parents can significantly impact who we are, as can the emotional and physical neglect we experience.
Ludus is a child-like and flirtatious love commonly found in the beginning stages of a relationship (a.k.a. the honeymoon stage). This type of love consists of teasing, playful motives and laughter between two people. Although common in young couples, older couples who strive for this love find a more rewarding relationship. Your emotions allow you to feel giddy, excited, interested and involved with another person. Mania is an obsessive love towards a partner. It leads to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness — known as codependency. Most cases of obsessive love are found in couples with an imbalance of love towards each other. An imbalance of Eros and Ludus is the main cause of Mania. With healthy levels of playful and romantic love, the harm of obsessive love can be avoided.
Set boundaries for your child. Setting rules—and consistently following through with consequences if they are broken—is an important aspect of building trust between you and your child. Talk to your child about the reasons behind rules so they know why rules exist and what you consider proper behavior. Your child might test those limits, but if you are consistent with logical consequences, and remind them about the reasons behind the rule, they might think twice about breaking that rule the next time.
According to psychologists, there are five types of love styles. First, the pleaser, who often grows up in a household with an overly protective or angry and critical parent. Second, the victim, who often grows up in a chaotic home with angry or violent parents and tries to be compliant in order to fly under the radar. Third, the controller, who grows up in a home where there wasn’t a lot of protection so s/he has learned to toughen up and take care of themselves. Fourth, the vacillator, who grows up with an unpredictable parent and develop a fear of abandonment. And fifth, the avoider, who grows up in a less affectionate home that values independence and self-sufficiency. Discover more details on where abandonment issues come from.
When we are children, we look to our families, and the adults in our life to provide a safe space to learn, and grow into adulthood. Stability plays a major role in this development. Whether your childhood experiences were negative or positive, they can greatly affect your relationships as an adult. When it comes to trauma, the effects stay with you for a lifetime and it is important to address the trauma so you may learn to cope in your daily life. In this blog we discuss childhood trauma, how it may impact your relationships as an adult, and how to begin healing from those experiences.